What are friends for?

I don't think anyone has been as shocked as me at the difficulty I seem to be having here in London in making new friends.

Far from this being a total 'termsofendearment' style misery fest, no, I think its important for me to express my frustration at the few things that have made me the pshychotic mess that I seem to have become. And because all you loving caring friends that I do have in Cyber Space care so much about me, well, you're going to have to endure a little bit of cyber therapy.

So here goes.

1. I work too hard, and I'm totally terrified that they're going to soon discover that I havn't got a clue what I'm doing.

This occupies way too much of my energy, which, when I do get the chance to socialise, I find myself not particularly engaged in anything or anyone.

2. I miss my friends in Australia too much - they're a hard act to follow, and at my age, I figure, what's the use anyway?

3. I have tried to make friends on Gaydar, much to the fella's amusement and ridicule, and although I have made inroads into some lovely peoples lives, these relationships are still very infant, and I'm acutely aware that we met, well, on gaydar.

4. The fella is having a great time and making new friends, socialising having quiet dinners with new friends without me etc...and there's nothing worse than being miserable for a reason that the nearest person to you doesn't really understand.

5. I drink too much, which, on top of all this shit doesn't make anything any better.

All I know, Is I'm pretty miserable right now, which i dont think even my trip to the USA next week will fix.

SO I'm thinking of taking myself off to the shrink for some lessons in social behaviour 101. Who knows, perhaps I might come away with some pretty pink pills.