NHS souffle

You will need:
1 really really genuine complaint
Tables, chairs and a big carton of toys.
25 to 30 fairly unwell and irritated people
Endless patience
An LCD notice board.
A hot suny day
3 hours to waste
A small waiting room
42 small children
small plastic projectiles ie blocks.
an Ipod with loud speakers.
A computer, perhaps 2 or more just in case.

to make:

1. prepare your workspace by arranging chairs and toys in random criss cross pattern around room.
2. scatter people and children randomly around room. take care to arrange older and younger children around the toy carton for maximum conflict opportunity.
3. Add a big computer failure without back up (see, that second one would have come in handy). Simmer patience.
4. look for parents of children in play area. if none around because as you suspect they have left them here for the day, then turn ipod up and breathe deeply.
5. check ailment and see if it's really at all that bad. If swallowing feels like eating barbed wire, then keep in room until called on LCD screen.
6. check patience against. If thin then adjust ipod
7. close all windows and doors to room and arm children with projectiles. cook on hot summer day until called or demented, which ever comes quickest.