Sorry Madam, I will be right there.

I am lying in bed this morning nusrsing a bit of a hangover. Not the type that says quick, decapatate me and bury my head in a large pile of epsom salts, douse with evian, and reattach when lighty fizzed. Its more the Vicky Pollard type of "OOOH my god I can't be LIEVE you just did thaaaat.


You see, last night we went out for dinner with my delightful cousins Jo and Lou to celebrate Jo's birthday. We went to a restaurant in Marble Arch, and I'm not ashamed to tell you its name - Rhodes at W1.

It's quite a nice restaurant/bar, in the foyer of a very posh west end hotel. So in this kind of establishment, one would expect pretty damned good service.

Well, this is a transcript of a converstation between my cousin Jo and the waitress:

Jo: Can you please top up my wine? Or perhaps leave the bottle on the table.

Waitress: I will bring it to you.

time passes, no wine, entrees are brought to the table.

Jo: can you please top up my wine? I have already asked once.

Waitress: I have many tables to look after

Jo: I dont care about the other tables

Waitress: Well I do, thats my job, its very busy...

WRONG. BZZZ. You lose.

As Louise said, you should just smile and apologise and then go and spit in the food.

So after some WORDS to the manager, the service was excellent, as we had the manager topping up our wine almost to excess, so that's how we got a bit drunk.

Anyway, I hope the silly betch got the heave ho for that.

We're not in Melbourne anymore toto....