Lights Camera ACTION!
Good evening shoppers!
Why don't you make your way inside my emporium this evening where I'm sure you'll find all manner of interesting items for your delight at crazy rock bottom christmas prices!...
Just look over here, a tale of little old me, lugging a 1:250 scale model from Victoria to Canary Wharf, along with a big roll tube full of drawings, in afternoon (nearly) peak traffic... Thankfully I DIDN'T do a Greg Brady and get distracted by a girl and loose the plans en route. Nor did I fall off the Millwall into the sesspool of the inner Millharbour after some rude BITCH barged past me on her phone with her umbrella swinging around like the arms of a frenzied chav mole on her way to the Chicken Cottage after a big night on the babysham. No Shoppers, I delivered my prize to the client office with a few minutes to spare before knock off so decided to amble back along the aforementioned harbour edge, with a few cautionary glances around me as the heavy beats of Nina Pretty Ballerina pounded into me via the iPod.
So here I am, walking back to Canary Wharf through the docks. It must be kind of something only mad people or old people who have nothing better to do than be mugged and killed for their packet of Murray Mints might do. No signage, no special braille paving for the "visually impared", no lighting, no brightly tinselled banners, no gloriously strobe lit glitter balls heralding my way.
My second tale, shoppers, begins in the sordid cyber trough of googlechat, where I was engaged in a sneaky mid work affair with my buddy Scotty. Sometimes Scotty and I have lunch together, seeing as we work close by and on this day I received a rather fetching invitation from the young laddy, fishing to see if I was around for an ilicit carb heavy afternoon reposte.
Eager I was, to fulfil these urges of fried noodle and steamed dumpling. But alas. I was stood up for a 'west end' saunter and sandwich to see the Christmas lights in Regent's street (I can just imagine Scott marching around Leicester Square, stuffing a kebab into his gullet)....
Anyhoo, since I was on the stroll after my near death experience in the Docks, I thought I might go and see what was goin down on the Crescent.
Well, what a surprise dear shoppers, to not only walk right into the crowd gathering below the window of ..um.. well, I'm not really sure exactly where it was, but there was Sir Ian McKellen, in all his santa haired glory, waving to the crowd, and then *poof* on came the Christmas lights and off went about £7.50 worth of fireworks ( the ash of which Im still picking off my Prue Acton 1988 Bicentennial Wool fair scarf ). But I did get my glorious glitter procession, as i ambled up Regent street with firecrackrs, Chrissy lights and throngs of gentlemen in coloured scarves eying me off in my Prue Acton 1988 Bicentennial wool fair scarf.
It was, dear shoppers, a wonderful experience. Worthy of my emporium. I still had the thrill buzzing through me as I passed by Hamley's Toys where they had a SNOWMACHINE !!! shoppers, belching snow upon the crowd. How spesh! Such a thrill, even to this Wonder of the World.
My only criticism was, as i mentioned to the lady next to me when the lights came on, was that I thought Kylie always turned on the Christmas Lights...? hey? innit?
Why don't you make your way inside my emporium this evening where I'm sure you'll find all manner of interesting items for your delight at crazy rock bottom christmas prices!...
Just look over here, a tale of little old me, lugging a 1:250 scale model from Victoria to Canary Wharf, along with a big roll tube full of drawings, in afternoon (nearly) peak traffic... Thankfully I DIDN'T do a Greg Brady and get distracted by a girl and loose the plans en route. Nor did I fall off the Millwall into the sesspool of the inner Millharbour after some rude BITCH barged past me on her phone with her umbrella swinging around like the arms of a frenzied chav mole on her way to the Chicken Cottage after a big night on the babysham. No Shoppers, I delivered my prize to the client office with a few minutes to spare before knock off so decided to amble back along the aforementioned harbour edge, with a few cautionary glances around me as the heavy beats of Nina Pretty Ballerina pounded into me via the iPod.
So here I am, walking back to Canary Wharf through the docks. It must be kind of something only mad people or old people who have nothing better to do than be mugged and killed for their packet of Murray Mints might do. No signage, no special braille paving for the "visually impared", no lighting, no brightly tinselled banners, no gloriously strobe lit glitter balls heralding my way.
My second tale, shoppers, begins in the sordid cyber trough of googlechat, where I was engaged in a sneaky mid work affair with my buddy Scotty. Sometimes Scotty and I have lunch together, seeing as we work close by and on this day I received a rather fetching invitation from the young laddy, fishing to see if I was around for an ilicit carb heavy afternoon reposte.
Eager I was, to fulfil these urges of fried noodle and steamed dumpling. But alas. I was stood up for a 'west end' saunter and sandwich to see the Christmas lights in Regent's street (I can just imagine Scott marching around Leicester Square, stuffing a kebab into his gullet)....
Anyhoo, since I was on the stroll after my near death experience in the Docks, I thought I might go and see what was goin down on the Crescent.
Well, what a surprise dear shoppers, to not only walk right into the crowd gathering below the window of ..um.. well, I'm not really sure exactly where it was, but there was Sir Ian McKellen, in all his santa haired glory, waving to the crowd, and then *poof* on came the Christmas lights and off went about £7.50 worth of fireworks ( the ash of which Im still picking off my Prue Acton 1988 Bicentennial Wool fair scarf ). But I did get my glorious glitter procession, as i ambled up Regent street with firecrackrs, Chrissy lights and throngs of gentlemen in coloured scarves eying me off in my Prue Acton 1988 Bicentennial wool fair scarf.
It was, dear shoppers, a wonderful experience. Worthy of my emporium. I still had the thrill buzzing through me as I passed by Hamley's Toys where they had a SNOWMACHINE !!! shoppers, belching snow upon the crowd. How spesh! Such a thrill, even to this Wonder of the World.
My only criticism was, as i mentioned to the lady next to me when the lights came on, was that I thought Kylie always turned on the Christmas Lights...? hey? innit?
Labels: About town
posted by Eddie Knittster at 7:45 pm
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