Don't bespeak to me.

MRS PUSSY'S WORD OF THE MONTH: BESPOKE

So WHAT is going on with the word BESPOKE?

The fella and I have a new little gag that we share. And, surprise surprise, we have become a little obsessed by it. Those who know and love us will know this is quite common in our house. Once we get onto something that amuses us, it may take many a year before we are able to put it down.

Case studies:

1. I'm still reeling from Pete's unusually late discovery and subsequent hysteria over the concept of the 'Jap's eye'
2. There is endless amount of spew in Fanula's purse
3. and then there's Kimmy. That gag has been going for nearly 10 years. Look at that. Ploise.

Since arriving on these fair shores the fella and I have noticed that the word is more popular than the Youtube video of Britney going ape with that umbrella on KFed's car. We have gone from being slightly amused to just plain flummoxed (oh yes, indeed) about the apllication of this little adjective to the most mundane and UNbespoke artifacts society has to offer.

And since I'm on a roll now, since arriving here, we have been generally satisfied with our grasp of the language (it is English after all). In fact, we feel positively superior in our commnd of vocabulary, and our elocution is excellent, even with our colonial upbringings. In fact, the number of people in the UK (especially in some boroughs of London and nearly everywhere up north) who really have a shocking use of language or an accent that is so damned lazy they might as well be speaking gobbledygook, is staggering. Case study readers, get your pencil out; Vicky Pollard.

So what is with this stupid little annoying word?

In any one day, I think i hear it used in conversation, or read it in print about 10 times. It is commonly used here to describe EVERYTHING. From the boardroom, to the bedroom, to the factory, to Lady Penelope Cossington Smythe's rose arbour. Londoner's just love this word and it is just EVERYWHERE.

Wikipedia has this to say

"Bespoke is a usually British English term for tailored clothing made at a customer's behest, and exactly to the customer's specification. Bespoke clothing is created without use of a pre-existing pattern, differentiating it from made to measure, which alters a standard-sized pattern to fit the customer."

The term begun in Saville Row, where the finest garments are tailored.

I have a bespoke penis. My hair today was bespoke, and I polished my shoes with a bespoke rag. We even have a bespoke deodorant. I mean, what is bespoke about a roll on? Do you get a special bespoke musky aroma that attracts other bespoke people and keeps bespoke sweat from forming no matter your bespoke workout? More like a special tailor made bespoke yellow stain in the pits of your nice new white shirt, that's what.

LOOK! A bespoke dog. No shit, google it, and on page 6 of your image search, this adorable poochie poo will pop up.

I think Londoner's like the use of it so much because it makes whatever they're consuming seem that much more important and special. Kind of car crash cache. Like getting relationship advice from Katie Holmes.

Maybe...