Monday, August 28

Go to to see our day out in Brighton yesteerday It was fun and we rode on the rollercoaster, and then went to a big gay bar with all the gays.

Saturday, August 26

Keslake Chronicles Chapter 1. In Search of the Orient innit?

After a big night on the beers and cigs, Eddy and Fiona have decided to quit the cigs once and for all. So to occupy some time today, we went on a little house excursion to Oriental City in Edgeware road, Colindale.

We set out with a sense of exhilaration and excitement, the lure of good quality Asian food and produce burning through our hangovers, even blocking out the realization that it was going to take an hour on a bus to get there, past CHAV central and a past a happy but slightly aggressive ginger fellow who's face was black with the marks of one too many beatings the previous night and who's teeth were sharpened to points. Just the type you want to bring home for Christmas/ba mitzvah

Once we arrived at the coveted said megacomplex - the sopping centre, it was push and shove and spit and push and snot all the way in,

past stores that were more like shrines to plastic kittens, apothecaries of herbal remedies promising penile reconfiguration through dried animal hair, and a sound and light show that would even dazzle Mardi gras ... well I made that bit up, but the place did smell authentically like a Singapore shopping mall, and the fluorescent lighting was wonderful on the complexion.

But lets face it, we weren't there to admire ourselves in the harsh light of the mall, we went to eat eat eat and eat we did. We didn't eat here though.

and I think it ends with you too...

Naturally the food was excellent and we ate too much, nothing new in this scenario. Fiona chose a lovely dish of Vietmanese chicken
P(h)o with deep fried spring rolls

Eddy enjoyed Curry Tom Yum with Prawns and seafood - EXCELLENT! Though I have to admit, I did have a little trouble finishing it, there was rather a lot of it. And then there was the manky prawn cracker. OH LORDI don't start me on the cracker.

Mr Whatto buried about a kilo of "samba chicken" - samba kind of generic chicken noodle dish..

And the verdict?


Then the msg hits, and the whole desirability of the outing starts to come into question. Why do they need to put MSG into Vietmanese cooking? Surely the beauty of this fine cuisine is in the simple flavours of lemongrass, coriander and chili, lime and stuff...

The results speak for themselves.....

But no outing to the Asian megaplex would be complete without a foray into the supermarket. A Tesco sized supermarket full of sauces, noodles... FUCK ! I just realised that I forgot to get wasabi peas. Might have been when I saw this little baby..

Just to give you a taste of the delights within, here is a selection of my favourite images, in a montage, composed especially for you.

Special note goes to this one. though. Hats off to anyone who would actually consider purchasing or even eating something that so closely resembles a turd...or a box of turds. Here's one for Rove's What Tha?

Not to be outdone by the Cock flavoured fish sauce. What needs to be said here? I don't know, usually I have a comment on everything. I'm choosing to hold my tongue.

And on the way home I found this! Can it get any better?

The day ended beautifully, still hungover, but now from MSG poisoning. Dinner of BBQ Asian pork, dumplings, choy sum and noodles... the Odyssey continues....

Keslake Meyates.

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Ok ok so cheesy picture of myself, just wanted to get it in there for my profile, and I had to publish it.
I'll see if I can take it off without losing it out ofmy profile. Thanks Bretty for showing me how, you are an excellent blog tutor.


Travel Diary Montreal - Chapter 3. Glamourheads WIN the outsplash!!!

Glamourhead Sharks OutSplash winning entry

Glamourheads GOING OFF!
Thanks to Ryan for putting this onto youtube. see if you can spot me somewhere on the diving board. And who gave me a microphone. Jesus Christ, that was stupid.
(isn't it amazing what you can do with a lilo?)

Victory! we won! where's that gold medal then?


Tuesday, August 22

SIDE NOTE: Axis of evil! Introducing the CCCCC !!!

Chicken Cottage, cigarettes, cheap champagne

Well, being back from Montreal I have slipped into a destructive pattern of drinking, smoking and chicken cottage.

Im not really sure how Im going to slip out of this pattern, and it seems to be gripping my house meeeaytes also. Let me just explain how it works ( see diagram)

The equation goes something like:

too much fun = Champers = cigs = last bus = chicken cottage.

The chicken cottage is actually a type of fried chicken house. Damn them and their irresistable £2.00 treat of 3 pieces and chips! Damn them being right at the bus stop at the number 52 night bus to Willesden Junction! Damn them being open just about 24 hours a day for all my fried chicken needs! Im worse than Kirsty Alley and Oprah on Valentines day.

And then there's them cigs. (mum, dont read on).. I did give up for a while, but just reclaimed the sport following my relocation to London, with vigour. Shame.

You would think that this warning might actually inspire me to do something about my filthy habit wouldn't you? But then I just keep dreaming of the chicken....

Mrs Pussy...

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Travel Diary Montreal - Chapter 2. Esther Williams - eat yo heart out darl!

I recall sitting in my living room at the merry old age of 19 watching Hayley Lewis win gold in Auckland at the 1990 Commonwealth games. I thought to myself, one day I'm going to meet her and tell her what an inspiration she is, as i got off the couch, put my cigarette out, put my beer down and went and had a nap. It was a few years later, whilst doing laps, that I remembered what an inspiration she actually was to me.

This is me getting ready for my 200m Individual Medley for which I got DQ'd (and thats not a reference to Dairy Queen).

OK so I never got to meet Hayley, but I did get to spend a few nice hours with Nicole Livingstone at a dinner, and meet Shane Gould at a party once, and heck I've now swum in 2 gay games (well one gay games and one outgames). All of these things have been awesome. And the cherry on top of all of this was getting to spend a week with my Glamourhead Sharks friends at the outgames in Montreal. So many of them were inspirational, especially in the outsplash, but mostly by their spectacular performances in the pool.

This is me and Deb, gold gold gold. What a little gold digger she turned out to be...

Anyway, I did manage to do 3 PB's at the games. I did a 27.88 for the 50 free, a PB in the 50 back, after 10 minutes sleep from the night before and a PB in the 200 free in a relay in 2.25.something. So Im pretty chuffed, and now have 4 bronze medals hanging in my kitchen.

I also made some really nice friends poolside, a cute guy from Manchester, and a sweet man from Montreal. Its a week at the pool I wont forget in a hurry.

Then came the OUTSPLASH! competition. This was undoubtably the highlight of the swim meet (well there was one other thing that I think I enjoyed more, but me mum might be reading this). Guess what my role was

check out

And you thought 1000 gays and lesbians in a pool was enough. Darl, its never enough.

mrs pussy

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Sunday, August 13

Travel Diary Montreal - Chapter 1. Let the games commence!

Righto, hi everyone, Sorry about Mrs Pussy, she does go on. She's become rather hyperactive since we changed her food, the curtins are also hanging rather splendidly, so she's about to go on a big diet.

We had the most fantastic time in Canada. Apart from the incredible friendliness of the local boys ..ahem.... the city had really put on the most amazing show for the some 12000 visitors attending both the games and the human rights conference. On top of that, there was also the "DiversCite" festival and gay pride. It was just mental. For a full photographic essay on the week, visit

and all our holiday pics are there (well, the clean ones anyway!)

The opening ceremony was amazing. We all marshalled outside the olympic stadium in the rain, with thousands of spunky Dutch, English and Montreal athletes, drinking beer and comparing uniforms. Everyone loved our outfits, and I thought I wore the shortest shorts in the whole parade until I met this guy....

WHAT a hottie. He was in the swimming competition, but was not the nicest boy poolside by a long shot. Anyone who saw the goings on beside the Glamourheads stand would understand what im talking about. Anyhoo, as soon as we posed for this shot, it was like a papparazzi frenzy. We were both nearly torn apart by the crowds. Though I think they would have been tearing me apart to get to him...

We finally entered the stadium to thunderous applause, it was truly amazing, we danced around like idiots for a while and were treated to an amazing show of Cirque du Soleil and KD Lang, who, in her TRACKSUIT looked like she had just eaten half of Cirque du soleil. Honestly love, one too many trips to the buffet I think.

We managed to squirm our way all over the floor, just as if we were in a dance party. The array of people all rejoicing to be there was staggering, and it was really cruisy. I think my favourite boys were the Calgary Cowboys with their big Brokeback Mountain hats.

After the ceremony we headed home to get some sleep before the first day of competition. Most of the others went out partying, so wish we had done that, the skybar was really fun, however, I think we spent more than enough time there over the week. And really the saturday night was probably to most sleep I got all week.....

There are many more stories to tell and I will try to get them all on here over the coming days...

Ciao for now,


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Saturday, August 12

Just got back from a lovely evening out only to turn on the TV to watch shlock movie "Leprechaun" starring a young Jennifer Aniston, before she took acting classes. Truly one of the funniest films I have ever seen.

Best line: from token child (who gets forgotten and placed in danger at any opportunity that the camera pans to Jen's ass) as he shoots a 4 leaf clover at the little beast:

"fuck you lucky charms".. !!

collective groan, and apologies to every irish person on the planet for the atrocity that is hollywood.



Back from Canada, and looking a bit worse for wear...

Well, daddy got back from Canada the other day. I tried to pretend that I wasn't happy that he was back, but he saw through that right away. I believe that there was much shenanigans in Montreal, so no doubt there will be stories coming thick and fast. I think dad is going to hijack my blog and bore cyberspace... look out...

For a really funny read, check out this blog: